Friday, 13 February 2009

"Resession sex"

One of the smarmy New Boys in my office kept name dropping this phrase yesterday morning. He was leaning uncomfortably close to our new secretary, Janine, who looked both bemused and terrified, in the way only a woman who has emigrated alone to the UK in search of fortune and found herself, confusingly, typing out invoices for a struggling law firm can.

"You see, it's all boils down to sex, right? When one of these...these, like, national 'crises' happens, they're always like, 'So, how is this going to affect people's sex lives?'. Like, when wall street crashed in the 20's they kept talking about the effect it would have on the youth, who were all shagging around about then. Everyone wants to talk about it...everyone wants to do it" - New Boy shifts his weight and locks eyes with Janine. Janine flinches. "Recession sex - that's what it's about. People screwing because they're bored and broke" Janine turns her back and starts filing frantically "I'm bored and broke." More filing. "Maybe I should get myself self some...if you know what I mean". New Boy winks at the back of Janine's head, who is still filing blank paper.

Later on I hear New Boy discussing this exchange with Slightly More Established Boy. He made it sound like the aforementioned secretary was crawling round his ankles, salivating, with her phone number stapled to her forehead.



I think I may need to get out of here.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Law firm. 'Nuff said.