Friday, 21 November 2008

Rise of the Machines

Oh dear. Hubby has been upstaged by a plastic idol I have decided to name "Charles".

To be fair, upstaging Hubby was not hard. The man has the all the sexual ability and tenderness of a horny 12 year old. Quick and painless.

Oh, I am cruuuel...

Anyway, Charles and I met in the electronics section of my local Harmony sex shop. I often walk passed and have never before gone in. We have met many tines since, every occasion explosive. He is there when I need him. He is the right size and shape, and he knows what to do. It is amazing to think that two AA batteries and a bit of thermoplastic rubber could induce such ecstasy.

During one of my post-orgasmic hazes, I decided to do a cheeky Google search for dating and found this website. It's called 'Illicit Encounters'. I've actually heard about it before at work (I think someone caught our CEO on it once) but forgot about it until now. The site is a dating site for married people. What a contradiction!

Had a look around. Has got me considering my situation. Don't want to sign up though. However difficult things are, I'm not desperate enough.

Friday, 14 November 2008

Quatam of Adonis


Have just come back from cinema with Hubby. Saw latest Bond film and, Oh My Gosh, was it good. I mean - the film itself was rather dull and predictable, but why should I care when I have the fabulous Daniel Craig to ogle? Solidly. For over an hour and a half.

There was a distinct lack of embarrassingly tight swimming trunks, but I can let that go. I could tell Hubby was getting uncomfortable; every time there was a close-up of the said action hero he coughed and shifted in his seat. During a particularly slow moment, I carefully nestled some select bit of popcorn in his hair. We went and had dinner at Frankie and Benny's afterwards. He noticed during pudding and was not amused.

Last weekend I went shopping "for myself", and bought something that I thought I would have never bought. It is small and phallic, and, apparantly, will make me reel with ecstasy. Shelly is skeptical, but will give anything a try once. I have to hide it in my sports bag in the bottom of my cupboard.

Naughty girl!