Tuesday, 1 December 2009

"Voulez vous coucher avec moi c'est soir?"

Yes, I know, it doesn't really work when you elongate the noun like that. Anyway.

Yesterday evening, I learned something rather interesting. James...light of my loins, master of my mammaries...knows FRENCH. And not just O level textbook French either. Fluent, could-talk-the-hind-legs-off-a-Parisian-donkey French.

During our rather hurried meal out last night (supposedly at Pilate's, natch), he started conversing with our waiter, who, as it turned out, came from the same French town James' school was partnered with back when he was a teenager. Then they raced off into some conversation about the local area, leaving me stranded in my own linguistic ignorance. See, I did study French at school, for 3 years, but the only sentence I can recall is:

"J'habite dans un appartement en bord de mer."

Translated : I live in an apartment by the sea. Great if you do, of course. Not so great if you're trying to interject into a fast-moving conversation on the French school system.

Despite my lack of understanding, however, I can conclude one thing. Foreign languages are HOT. Watching James spout all this vowel-stuffed nonsense, I couldn't help but get a little hot under the collar. Such intelligence. Such experience. He could have been reciting a brief history of early Roman irrigation systems. I still wanted to hump his leg like a randy Chihuahua.

On our way back to the car, I suggest that he perhaps might like to try a little 'Comment va ton père?' in the bedroom. He seemed reluctant. Perhaps worried that this new-found fascination might awaken some dormant yet terrifying sexual urges in me...

That sound like fun doesn't it? Well, if James fails me, I guess I could always spend an evening with an old Linguaphone tape and a bottle of wine. Who cares if the conversation is a little one-sided? I'm a sucker for a cunning linguist...

M x

6 comments:

Sexy Sixty said...

Ha! Cute ending there, I should see that one...cumming? I am intimidated by languages as well, but it is quite a turn on in bed.

sunslover said...

try putting on songs in french ,that always managed to do it for me ,though the real thing would be much better ..

MC said...

Foreign language is hot. Accents are hot, too. I used to say that an accent makes a man 20-30% more attractive. As a non-Brit living in London even British accents seem sexy to me. But French, now, that's the best . . . perhaps if you dressed as a French maid he'd speak to you in French?

Kevin said...

I shall keep studying LOL My mistress asked me to make love to her in Spanish once. I shall try that again, if it's as hot as you say...

Steel Horseman said...

I used to like French, and even tried leaning a bit (so I knew exactly what the title of this post is). If asked, I might even be able to say it without too much of a horrid accent.

Phoenix said...

I'm fairly poor at French too, but I do know it is "ce" (this), not "c'est" (this is).

It's amazing how quickly you learn to get by in a language if you're alone in a country and your next meal or bed depends on it.