Get off sodding page you nasty little scammers! No, I don't want any of your cheap viagra, for three reasons...
1) I try to avoid buying pharmaceuticals over the internet from companies which advertise by paying migrant workers 4 pence an hour to spam personal blogsites.
2) I try to avoid buying pharmaceuticals over the internet, full stop.
3) Despite the numerous letters to Father Christmas, I am still yet to own a penis.
In other news, I took the fantastic advice of the lovely Karen and tried to picture New Boy after a night out, dribbling kebab juice down himself with a semi. Needless to say, the image was certainly enough to deter me for at least a few days. I think soon I will need to start using more aggressive tactics to rid myself of my crush. Perhaps leaving my job...
...well I wanted to go anyway.
Hmmm. That might not actually be a bad idea. Maybe a change of pace will sort me out. Am going to have a flick through Gumtree to see what's available. Watch this space.