Wednesday, 23 September 2009

My Darling Husband

Was listening into an interview Rosie from did on BBC Covetry (I am 'in' with them now...not sure how positive that is!). They gave her a pretty hard time I must admit, which I guess is fair enough, but there was one thing that really pissed me off.

At one point, the presenter (irritating little man, didn't disguise his polemic very well) mentioned the wedding vows. He said "But what about the promises you make when you marry someone? Don't they count for anything?"

You know what, Mister Radio Presenter? Since I began my affair, I am more capable of looking after my husband, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, than ever before. Because the stress I used to feel about our sex life has finally gone, I am able to support him better than ever. My perspective is clearer. I know now, better than ever, that we are made for one another. And, as a secondary point, our sex life is MUCH better.

To those non-cheaters, this may sound contradictory. But my relationship with James, although intimate, is functional. If James stopped being able to provide me with the things I need, then I would stop seeing him. I hope that he feels the same way about me.

I wish there was a way of making people understand that convention does not always dictate the best way. A faithful mariage is an ideal, but I genuinely believe it is not always posible. Maybe if everyone took a second to think about this, there wouldn't be as many unhappy marriages in the world.

Okay. Rant over. Sorry about that folks. Next time I'll post something funnier. In the meantime, here's a joke to lighten the mood...

Guy goes into a bar. Big guy, but his head is the size of an orange.

Goes up to the bartender, orders a beer. Bartender serves him and asks why a big guy like him has such a small head.

So the guy tells him his story: He was stranded on a desert island. He hadn't seen a women in weeks and was beginning to think he might die out there alone. But one lonely day he stumbled upon a genie lantern. Out comes this beautiful genie who says, "I'll grant you one wish . . . what will it be?". The man thinks, then asks "Well, it's been such a long time, and I don't know how long I'm going to be stranded here - I wish for you to make love to me". The genie shakes her head. "I'm afraid I can't grant that wish."

The guy says, "Ok then, how 'bout a little head?"



Sara Jones said...

Are all genie's hard of hearing? I asked for a twelve inch penis and ended up with a very small Liberace in my panties ( actually, it has it's good points, especially when he dances!).

Anonymous said...

Your 'rant' is so true. It's inspired me to write a little on it in my blog. Part of me thinks even noticing the moral evangelists gives them credibility they don't deserve but sometimes things need to be said, especially after the article in the Independent.


Anonymous said...

I just read a joke today and made my own spin on it (just reversed the gender orders :)

A man was having a go at his wife. "Look at Bob and Mary next door, every morning she throws her arms around him and kisses him goodbye. Why don't you do that" The reply "Will you introduce me to Bob then?"


Anonymous said...

I love it how you think an affair is something to be proud of, it's even more disgusting if you have children, I hope one day your husband finds this blog and leaves you, and maybe then you might relaise why you married him in the first place, to be together in sickness and in health, to be unified as one and struggle through lifes cespit together, instead you fuck off with the milkman, you will die a lonely old woman dear.